Chapter 3
Lying motionless on the bed while the dim moonlight falls on her face a face which is full of guilt a guilt which she can't share to her writer but if she doesn't she just might die with it die with all the secrets hidden under her chest .. as she starts to fall asleep her phone rang, scrabbling on her hand under the pillow she picks it up without checking the caller i.d from the other side there came a voice very familiar and very loud saying "she said yes!.. she said yes! Janet come on say something i am the happiest man on earth today! hello!! Janet are you there?? " while he said all those words all Janet could manage to say was " great congratulation Jake " with tears falling from her eyes like a waterfall ,then Jake counted to tell her how he proposed Mandy and what she said but all the Janet could think was that she will die without ever telling him how she felt for him it was too late all those years she spend with Jake wasted as she could not ever tell him about the heart ache she had been feeling for so many years....
It was 8 a.m now Janet was drinking her morning coffee standing in her balcony watching the sea waves falling in and out of the shore few joggers were passing by as well and the sun was shiny brightly up in the sky it was the moment of piece for her as for tonight she had to go her best friend's engagement party to watch Jake be with some one some one she knew she could never be.. Just when she was bubbling with thoughts there was a knock on the door Janet knew who that would be , so she opened it without even asking , was Alex as she opened the door Alex was yawning with a mouth wide open and froze as she saw Janet, Alex then started to smile and scratching her head she say " Good Morning Ms Janet, May i come on in?" Janet looking with her puffy red eyes giving the expression of sorrow went inside letting her pass .
Sitting down facing towards the balcony she says " sit down Alex , today i am not feeling so well so lets just keep it small about like an hour or so ? and by the way there some coffee int he kitchen if you want some"
Alex sitting the on the one man sofa and taking her laptop out of her backpack says, " No, thanks I'm good , so let's get started .. so we were at the part where Jake was going..?"
Janet yes we were..
" It was early December of 1996 when he was leaving he wasn't even gonna be there for Christmas , who will i spend my Christmas night ? who will i sing the Christmas choral with ? the night he left was cold as it was but with out him being around it felt much more cold hours i just sat at his empty door step, it as the time was passing every day i realized how much i actually loved him how he meant to me and how much time i had wasted thinking about Owen while my heart was always with Jake but it was too late ...
Days passed but i couldn't reach him i wrote him letters and letters but no reply ever came maybe i was sending to the wrong address or maybe after moving into the city he had forgotten about me...
It was 1997 June when all the senior were going to victor's parents pent house in the city for a party. Victor was Janice boyfriend.. When Janice asked our parents for the permission to go they denied they said that she can' go alone boys these days are very bad they could get you pregnant and then just leave you in the dumpster ! after arguing for days my parents agreed one term that i would go with Janice as well Janice agreed and for the first time she was nice to me and gave me a few new dresses of her to wear at the party it was gonna last a whole week end i was very happy that at last my sister remembers me .
Now that we were there we checked in a motel in which i was to live alone while she stayed with her boy friend , later that day we arrived at the party she told me to get away some where but i told her that i didn't knew any one then she suggested that i go see Jake But i told her i don't know the city and i don't know Jake's address on which Janice said i should go to the room upstairs and wait until she calls a cab so i could go back to the motel and rot there .. So I went upstairs and got in the first room open after a while Janice came in with her boy friend Victor they both came in laughing but I could see that Victor was drunk while Janice was not coming in he points towards me and asks Janice that's your sister whose been a bad girl to you Janice nods saying yes and then turns around and lock the door by now i knew something was wrong staying strong i asked why are you locking the door Janice whats going on? she didn't say anything but smiled as victor close to me i told him to get away but he wouldn't i said i would scream but i knew with the music so loud no one could hear me he came close pushed me against the wall and slapped me hard threw me to the bed i started crying begging him to leave me alone but he kept on coming close as close as he could get i tried to hit him but my sister tied my hand to the bed i tried to scream but was of no use he kept on saying "shhh.. it will all be over soon i know you want it so stop screaming baby " but he didn't stopped i went unconscious, even when i woke up i was tied to bed ..
the whole week end he came and did whatever he wanted to and left that week end was the end for me....."
wiping her tears with pain filled eyes she says, "So, Alex i think that will be enough for today huh ?"
The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain. It's the loneliness of it. Memories need to be shared.” Lois Lowry, The griver
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