SoManyThingz

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it -Charles R. Swindoll

Tuesday, 1 March 2016

Rape victim

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“I told him to stop. He thought I was joking. I froze.”
Kristina Erickson, Beloit College (Wisc.)

“I was like, ‘No, please stop.’ He was like, ‘No, you’ll like it.' ”
Female student, Queens University of Charlotte

“I don’t know why guys just think, ‘If I just do it, she’ll do it, too.’
Saalika Khan, Towson University (Md.)
“I woke up the next morning without any pants on, and without any recollection.

Female student, University of Pittsburgh

“Definitely there’s an awkwardness to saying no.”

Male student, Massachusetts Institute of Technology

“I had no intention of sleeping with this woman. I kept telling her.”

Daniel Episcope, University of the Pacific

“Thinking people would have found a way to stop it if they didn’t want it is victim-blaming, and it is as ridiculous as telling a victim of a robbery that they would have stopped a robbery if they really didn’t want it to happen.”

Female student, Northern Illinois University

 The student at Northern Illinois University had an appointment in Chicago and needed a ride. So she arranged to stay that night in April 2013 with a friend who could drive her into the city the next morning.
“She picked me up on campus and took me back to her place after my classes,” the student, now 23, recalled. “The night was uneventful, but when it was later, and I was getting ready to sleep, she started to kiss me. I froze and didn’t reciprocate.”
She said she didn’t know what to do.
“She told me not to be such a prude and said that she knew I wanted it and kept on kissing,” she said. “I turned my head away but she didn’t stop. She started touching me other places. I still didn’t say anything. After a bit she stopped and called me a prude.”
The next day, the student, who is a lesbian, told her then-romantic partner what had happened.
“All she said was, ‘If you didn’t want it to happen, you would have found a way to stop it.’ . . . I didn’t talk about it at all to anyone over summer. I cried a lot and felt dirty, and just gross. I felt like it was my fault and like I was broken. I felt like I had been unfaithful to my partner because I didn’t stop it.”
During the next school year, the student said her grades plunged, and she had a hard time focusing on classes.
“I had to take two incompletes in the fall and it just felt like I was crying all the time. Everything felt like a blur and I felt dirty, small and numb,” she said. “I felt like a zombie.”
The student did not report the incident.
“The person that did it never had repercussions for her actions,” she said. In the past year, her grades have improved and she is starting to heal. She said she wants to tell her story because too often sexual assault within the LGBT community goes unnoticed.
“For me, it almost felt like there was an extra additional component of shame,” she said. “Logically, I know it is not my fault. I know what happened was sexual assault, but I still do struggle with feelings of guilt and being dirty. I want people to know that the culture and beliefs we have about sexual assault in this country are not healthy. Thinking people would have found a way to stop it if they didn’t want it is victim-blaming, and it is as ridiculous as telling a victim of a robbery that they would have stopped a robbery if they really didn’t want it to happen.”


Female student, University of Michigan

She was flirting with a guy at a fraternity party, getting drunk on cheap vodka, when he invited her upstairs to his room. They started making out. The 19-year-old student at the University of Michigan remembers that much.
“I consented to that, but I don’t remember consenting to anything else,” she said. Her perceptions got “blurrier and blurrier.” She blacked out and woke up later on a couch downstairs. The woman didn’t know exactly what had happened, but suspected things had gone way too far.
“I was kind of freaking out,” she recalled.
Another man at the fraternity, whom she considered a friend, relayed to her a couple days later what he had heard: That the guy said he had sex with her. This friend said the woman’s judgment about what happened was wrong: “There’s a difference between having drunk, regrettable sex and being raped,” she remembers him telling her.
The woman said they are no longer friends. She decided not to report the incident to authorities, in part because she didn’t know how intoxicated her attacker had been that night.
“I didn’t want to start an entire thing,” she said. “I didn’t want that whole frat to have a backlash against me.”
Now, the woman said, she is leery of fraternity parties, excessive drinking and “the whole hookup scene.” She is a women’s studies major, and she wants to get active in sexual assault prevention. “I’m a big advocate for ending this.”
The woman said the university should do more than teach bystanders to intervene in risky situations. “The people who are committing sexual assault are the people on this campus,” she said, adding that they need a clear message: “Don’t assault people.”
“I also feel like there should be harsher punishment,” she said. “I think these boys think they can do it and nothing will happen to them.”


Those were a few survivor story what about the people who don't survive .. beware of your surrounding and take care of your loved ones because you never know who the wolf is.. 

campus rape

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U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, National Institute of Justice. (2005). Sexual Assault on Campus: What Colleges and Universities Are Doing About It.
In 1999, Congress asked the National Institute of Justice to study school compliance with Federal laws requiring schools to disclose their security procedures, report crime data, and ensure victims’ rights. The resulting research report provides a comprehensive benchmark of sexual assault policy on the Nation’s campuses. This report presents key findings from the research.

Fisher, B.S., Cullen, F.T., & Turner, M.G. (2000). The Sexual Victimization of College Women. National Institute of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics.
Findings from this report include:
  • It is estimated that the percentage of completed or attempted rape victimization among women in higher educational institutions may be between 20% and 25% over the course of a college career.
  • Among college women, 9 in 10 victims of rape and sexual assault knew their offender.
  • Almost 12.8% of completed rapes, 35% of attempted rapes, and 22.9% of threatened rapes happened during a date.
  • 2.8% experienced either a completed rape (1.7%) or an attempted rape (1.1%) during the six-month period in which the study was conducted.  Of victims, 22.8% were victims of multiple rapes. If this data is calculated for a calendar year period, nearly 5% of college women are victimized during any given calendar year.
  • It is estimated that for every 1,000 women attending a college or university, there are 35 incidents of rape each academic year.
  • Off-campus sexual victimization is much more common among college women than on-campus victimization.  Of victims of completed rape 33.7% were victimized on campus and 66.3% off campus.
  • Less than 5% of completed or attempted rapes against college women were reported to law enforcement.  However, in 2/3rds of the incidents the victim did tell another person, usually a friend, not family or school officials.
Krebs, C.P., Lindquist, C.H., Warner, T.D., Fisher, B.S., & Martin, S.L. (2007). The Campus Sexual Assault (CSA) Study. National Institute of Justice.
 Findings from this report include:
  • Many women (88%) have never consumed a drink left unattended or consumed a drink given to them by a stranger (76%).
  • One-quarter of the sample (25%) reported consuming alcohol or drugs before sex at least once a month, and slightly fewer (23%) were drunk or high during sex at least once a month.
  • Eighteen percent experienced an attempted (13%) and/or completed (13%) sexual assault since entering college.
  • Among the total sample, 5% experienced a completed physically forced sexual assault, but a much higher percentage (11%) experienced a completed incapacitated sexual assault.
  • Sexual assaults were most likely to occur in September, October and November, on Friday or Saturday nights, and between the hours of midnight and 6:00 a.m.
  • Most victims of physically forced or incapacitated sexual assault were assaulted by someone they knew (79% and 88%).
  • Freshmen and sophomores are at greater risk for victimization than juniors and seniors.
Mohler-Kuo, M., Dowdall, G., Koss, M., & Wechsler, H. (2004). Correlates of Rape While Intoxicated in a National Sample of College Women. Journal of Studies on Alcohol, 65, 37-45.

Findings from this report include:
  • In one study, one in 20 (4.7%) women reported being raped in college since the beginning of the year – a period of approximately 7 months – and nearly three quarters of those rapes (72%) happened with the victims were so intoxicated they were unable to consent or refuse.
  • One study found that students living in sorority houses (3 times at risk) and on-campus dormitories (1.4 times at risk) were more likely to be raped than students living off-campus.
  • Women from colleges with medium and high binge-drinking rates had more than a 1.5-fold increased chance of being raped while intoxicated than those from schools with low binge-drinking rates.
  • Women who had practiced binge-drinking in high school had an increased likelihood of rape while intoxicated.

Jane's little bio,

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Chapter 4

It's after midnight Janet wearing a black velvet evening gown is sitting outside of her house with tears slowing falling from her eyes all she is seeing is the sky is of it's darkest color with a dim light of a crescent shaped moon  is falling on the ground, ice cold water can be felt from miles away as the sea comes on shore and goes back by watching it come back and fort Janet can't help but to fall back down her memory lane with a heart ache...
she remember just how she was abused just how every inch of her body just wanted to give up but still she survived, the moment when she nearly killed herself  and the time when she left  her only child abandoned at the doorstep of a stranger .....
The Night passes and the sun is rising yet she still hasn't gotten inside she can feel the fresh air brushing by her cheeks she just sits there frozen ..
  Alex comes from behind giving her a pat on the back she come front and settles down besides her saying with bright morning smile "Good Morning Ms. Davis.. I can bet a 100 you didn't sleep last night .."
Janet just now realizing it's morning comes to her senses ans says bewildered " huh?.. what?.."
Alex: it's 9am in the morning our meeting was supposed to started about an hour ago  i came to your house and rang the bell even knock but no one there just leaving i saw you sitting here so i came along i hope you don't mind i mean if you are busy i can leave ..
Janet: No sweetheart it's ok you don't have to leave stay just let me get my coffee.
Alex surprise to hear Janet call her sweet heart starts taking out a thermos and a disposable cup  from her back pack she says, " you can drink from mine if you want to?"
Janet smiles and says, " sure.. lets continued from where we left yesterday.."
After a few days i told my parents what happened but they didn't believe it they thought i was lying  while Janice said i was the one fooling around with boys while she told me not to . Nobody believed me so i sat quite ..
1 year later (June 1998)
I was found sleeping by a police officer  who himself seem quite old in Sternberg Park  i had a back pack with me and i looked as if i hadn't slept for days when the officer asked me where i was from, who i was and why i was sleeping here i was scared   to see him so close to me i  had nothing but to say that i had no where to go and my name is Janet .. Janet Davis .. he asked me how old i was ?.. i told him i was 17 and begged him to let me stay here and not to take me to the station but he took me any way, on the way to the station  i was afraid that he might take me some where else or do some thing like Victor but i didn't let him know that i was afraid, he then wrote all the details about me and asked the man behind the desk to check if there was a missing person report filed that matched with the description  he had given but there was none to be found it was middle of the night and his shift was almost over he looked at me and sighed then asked me if there was some one he could contact for me only one name came to my mind Jake but i didn't even know if his parents would let me stay if they knew what happened to me so i nod my head saying no. he then told me to get up and to come with him but i refused i didn't want him to hurt me as well he then sat down besides me and told me with a very polite tone Look Janet  i have  2 little daughters of my own at my home i won't do any harm but if you stay here all alone i don't know what would happen you are a pretty girl you should not be staying alone like this so come with me please.. i don't know how he knew i was scared but when i looked around the station and saw weird looking guys all staring at me i got up with me head down and said ok and went home with him. 

Lady Gaga's tribute

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Pop singer Lady Gaga said in an interview on "The Howard Stern Show" that she was raped by a musical producer, an experience she turned into a song entitled "Swine," the U.S. press reported Wednesday.
The artist told the radio host that she was a very "naive" young woman educated in "a Catholic school" who, when she began to try and forge a career in the music business, encountered a man 20 years her senior who abused her.
"I went through some horrific things," said the 28yearold controversial singer, whose real name is Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta.
The performer of "Monster" said that for "four or five years" she erased the incident from her mind, but then had to go through quite a lot of "mental, physical and emotional therapy" to overcome what had happened to her.
"I'm able to laugh now" because of that therapy, she said, adding that she never confronted her attacker after the incident, although "I saw him one time in a store, and I was paralyzed by fear."

Toward the end of Lady Gaga's impassioned performance of "Til It Happens to You," her Oscar-nominated song about sexual assault, a curtain parted onstage, and dozens of grim-faced young men and women stepped forward. The group, all of them survivors of sexual assault, exposed their forearms to reveal such words and phrases as "Survivor," "You Are Love," "Unbreakable" and "Not Your Fault."
When Gaga wrapped the song, the men and women joined hands and raised them in solidarity. The Dolby Theatre audience rose for a standing ovation. Several stars, including Rachel McAdams and Kate Winslet, had tears in their eyes.
Many were moved on Twitter as well.
"#ItsOnUs These survivors. Wow. Floored by the courage. And beauty. And realness. #Oscars @ladygaga Thank you," tweeted "Scandal" actress Kerry Washington, who was present.
The song, co-written by Gaga and Diane Warren, is from "The Hunting Ground," a CNN Films documentary about the recent wave of sexual assaults on American college and university campuses.
Gaga's performance was introduced by Vice President Joe Biden, who encouraged Americans to take action against campus sexual assault and directed viewers to a website, It'sOnUs.org, which promptly crashed under the weight of sudden traffic.
"Let's change the culture," Biden said. "We must, and we can."
Wearing a white pantsuit and sitting at a white grand piano, Gaga poured herself into the song. The pop singer has said she herself was raped when she was 19.
"It's such an important song for me," Gaga said on the red carpet before the show. "One in 5 women will be raped before they finish college."
It's been quite a month for the singer, who has long captivated fans with her bold songs and attention-grabbing outfits. With her performance Sunday, Lady Gaga became the first entertainer to sing at the Super Bowl, the Grammys and the Oscars in one year.
"Til It Happens to You" didn't win the Oscar, though. That went to "Writing's on the Wall," the theme song from the James Bond movie "Spectre," co-written and sung by Sam Smith.

a Journey - Death by Suicide, a Mother's Story: CHRISTIAN'S SIXTH HEAVENLY ANNIVERSARY

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a Journey - Death by Suicide, a Mother's Story: CHRISTIAN'S SIXTH HEAVENLY ANNIVERSARY: Six years today and I’m lost. I don’t even know how to feel anymore. It seems that I’ve said everything there is to say, felt everything t...

younger and older

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Celebrities With Their Young Selves yngclebs-03 yngclebs-07 yngclebs-12yngclebs-13

6 Endings Never Told

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#6. 12 Years A Slave: Shortly After Being Freed, Solomon Northup Suddenly Disappeared Forever

#5. The Theory Of Everything: Stephen Hawking Has A Bitter Divorce, Gets Abused

#4. Pocahontas: Pocahontas Was Kidnapped And Died In London At Age 21

#3. The Sound Of Music: The Von Trapp House Became A Nazi Headquarters

#2. Big Miracle: The Whales Probably Never Made It Out Of The Arctic

#1. Titanic: The Band's Families Were Billed For The Cost Of Their Uniforms (And Corpse Shipping)