Oh, how this world made it this far. Never have I ever been able to figure out this riddle. There are many theories on it; when Adam Smith said something like "We serve the people best when we serve our own interests first." maybe he was not kidding.
How I see people going on with their lives like there is nothing wrong with this world. They hold greed in their hearts and then one day even immortals end.
Hilbert and Carol lived a few arm's length away from where I stood. They appeared to be very selfish people. Now I have always taken great pride in profiling people; basically I think that when it comes to people we should judge a book by it's cover because it saves time, but now I don't know anymore.
I once saw Hilbert denying a homeless man some bread. Once I saw him kicking a cat off his yard; I found that cat dead after a few hours. Once Hilbert and Carol joined us at a common friend's house warming party and from his warm arrival to his bitter departure from the party all he talked about was how gay people shouldn't be allowed to marry. At some point I think he said that gay people shouldn't be allowed to vote or should have to right to pack heat; basically according to him gay people had no rights. What was worse was that his wife Carol agreed with him on everything. I felt so bitter, how can he say all those things about gay population? Why does he think like this? Hilbert's behavior was without question cruel as hell.
One day I saw Hilbert at the grocery store, he was right next to me in the checkout line. We begin making small talk and out of nowhere he brought up a really awkward topic about gay rights. I just wanted to punch him in the face, and I am a fighter, I don't pull my punches when I lose myself to anger. Suddenly the person standing at the checkout station started to cry. Tears running down his face. Hilbert and I asked the man what was wrong and after a few embarrassing words he confessed that today was his 4th anniversary and he does not have enough money to buy stuff to bake a cake for his husband!
I looked at Hilbert's face, thinking what ridiculus this he will say now. What Hilbert did shocked me! He handed over his credit card to the cashier and said "Charge this man's groceries to my card.".
The man was so happy, he smiled and said thank you to Hilbert. Hilbert hugged the man and said you have a happy aniversiry sir.
Hilbert and I walked out of the mart together. I asked him " What made you help that man? Don't you hate men like him?" and Hilbert replied "I don't know, guess i just can't see a man in tears.".
From that day on I never saw Hilbert talking about gay rights badly again. A few months later Hilbert's son came out of the closet and Hilbert told him that he still loved him no matter what.
I got confused again. Are people bad and selfish by nature? Or are people good at heart? Both answers seem like diffrent sides of the same coin. Human nature seemed a double edged blade with tears and broken hearts at the pommel. I never took complication as an answer. I needed to know what this world means.
Over the years I have seen thousands and thousands of these acts; bad men do good things when no one expects them to do it, worse men come to realizations that even the best of us ignore.
All I have come to accept is that humans give this existence light, love, meaning; no matter how little. Without humanity there will be no light, no love, no meaning; there will be darkness, loneliness, and meaninglessness eternal.
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